That's How It Happened

This list of the 32 worst lyrics of all time (Thanks, Haz), contains some unbelievably awful songwriting, but somehow omits entirely, R Kelly's Trapped in the Closet. I thought this might be an opportunity to review some of the highlights of that much maligned work:

Checks under the bed (bed)
then under the dresser (dresser)
He looks at the closet (closet)
I pull out my berretta (berretta)
He walks up to the closet (closet)
He’s close up to the closet (closet)
Now he’s at the closet (closet)
Now he’s opening the closet (closet, closet, closet)

And from the incomparable Chapter 10:

"Now the midget jumps outta the cabinet and stomps the policemen on his toe
The policemen hoppin around on 1 leg screamin "son of bitch" while he runs under the table
He yells ''freeze'' dives over the table and lands on the midget...while the midget is kickin real fast screamin out bridget,bridget, "She yells darlin don't hurt em'"
He says bridget get yo' ass back...then he continue to ruff up the midget as if the midget was under attack..."

There's no way genius like that doesn't deserve a place in the top 5.

Tags: lyrics, rkelly