That's How It Happened

I am in a mystery location somewhere in the world. They do have wifi access right by the pool, which is pretty much my idea of heaven, but I don't think I'll be posting much for a couple of weeks. The challenge is to guess where I am. You get only two clues. The first is the google maps image above. The second clue is that the word of the day is "saunier". The first person to correctly name my location wins a sample of the product harvested in the strange "fields" visible in the picture.

Tags: holiday, map

From bubblerings.com

"Basically, you want to release a pulse of air about the size and shape of a golf ball, or a little larger. You can try saying the word POWP underwater. You'll have to experiment. Things to remember: When your mouth is all the way open and letting the air out, your mouth should be in as close to a circle shape as you can make it. Try to make the pulse of air start and stop in a sudden, clean way, so that you create just one large circular bubble, not many smaller bubbles in a stream. And make sure that you have your head tilted back far enough, so you are looking straight up at the surface of the water. If you are using one hand to pinch your nose shut, make sure the rest of your hand is as far out of the way as possible."

Tags: bubbles, japan,

LESTER: Tell me, Dr. Schwartz, what do you feel you can bring to LesterCorp?

CRAIG: Well, sir, I'm an excellent filer.

You may or may not have read of the Noguchi filing system. As far as I can tell it was either invented or at least de-japanified by translator William Lise. He seems to be trying to take it back from the public domain, even going so far as to remove it from archive.org. I will briefly re-explain the principles of the system, and then describe my rather modest improvements to it.
In the original system, every document you own, goes into an individual A4 brown envelope. The envelope is marked along its right side with the name of the document. Other data, including dating the document, and any categorisation is frowned upon. All envelopes are placed at random on one long shelf. Documents are initally retrieved by random searching. When documents are used, they get replaced in their envelopes on the far left of the shelf. Gradually the most frequently used documents accumulate at the left, and rarely used documents accumulate at the right. Envelopes from the far right are periodically removed and either disposed of or sent to "deep storage". Essential items, such as your passport, get tagged as "sacred" files, which are immune from this cull.
The idea of abandoning categorisation, in favour of sorting by frequency, sounds like a terrifying leap into the void. However my current filing system could best be described as the "Massively distributEd Stacking System", a series of random piles of paper on the floor, and in carrier bags. On the basis that I had little to lose in terms of organisational disarray, I took the plunge and converted to Noguchi.
I purchased a gross of Manila envelopes, and a set of coloured stickers. I decided to tag the spines of each envelope, with coloured stickers according to this code:
RED = Sacred
BLUE = Work
YELLOW = Home
GREEN = Financial
ORANGE = Recreational
These tags were not mutually exclusive, so that some documents had up to three stickers applied. It quickly became apparent that the Noguchi system was not appropriate for all items. All loose journal articles are excluded from my system, and continue to be filed in a normal filing cabinet according to topic. All journals and periodicals are also excluded, and continue to be filed on a shelf according to date. It took me 2 hours to file all my other documents into envelopes, with appropriate descriptions and coloured stickers down the spine. William Lise recommends cutting off the sticky foldover flap from the envelopes. I did not do this, partly to save time, and partly because the envelopes can then still be used for transporting documents elsewhere, without the documents falling out. My last modification was the most radical. I have allowed some thematically very similar documents to be grouped into single envelopes. This includes all my payslips, and all loose recipes by a single writer. When I was finished I had only about three feet of documents, all neatly arranged in matching envelopes. It felt good.
So at this moment in time, 24 hours post Noguchification, I stand on the edge of what is either a total disaster, or a bold departure into organisational bliss. I won't know the answer until I start retrieving documents, and autosorting by frequency of use. It thus just behoves me to sincerely wish that my new filing technique is unstoppable.

Tags: noguchi, filing

Successful "one button" games prove that gameplay and fresh ideas are more important than graphics or lousy film licenses: Flip Flap and Icicle Climb

Word of the Day: Fibula, in its alternative meaning of an ornamented clasp or brooch, as in the Norderndorf Fibula, a German 7th century mystery charm.

It's not like Dr Octagon inspired me to become a doctor, but I am keenly anticipating The Return of Doctor Octagon ( complete with new low tech music video.)

"7 years since Dr. Octagon's office in the Bronx was boarded up, the nurses obliged to seek alternate means of employment. Thousands of patients in need of rectal rebuilding or removing turtles from their uteruses had to fulfill their medical needs elsewhere. The toll-free hotline 1-800-PP5-1-DOODOO and his space age cell 709 755 6EL3 were both disconnected."

Tom Sherman has a new serious blog, and he's full of great stuff, like this 17 minute documentary on the history of the influential "Amen Break", and reminding me of Mike Mills awesome early film work "Paperboys".

Joel Ronson is 7, almost exactly 1/4 my age, and his blog is almost exactly 4 times more awesome than mine. He has an eye for a good list:

Top 10 oddest celebrity kids' names.

Top 8 annoyingest things teachers say.

Top 10 best real pirates

Top 5 things toothless animals eat

Top 10 highest earning fictional characters

Joel's Dad has Jon some writings on the web too.

Tags: blog, ronson

Before you click "play" on the above clip, be warned that this may be the zenith of all popular culture. Watching it could constitute crossing the Rubicon, into the second less awesome part of your life. It's Borat introducing Gnarls Barkley, who play Crazy dressed as the cast of Star Wars. If I was DJ Dangermouse, you just know I would have pulled rank and picked the Boba Fett costume; though Obi Wan with an afro is good too. (Via RoboWis)

Tags: starwars, gnarlsbarkley,

Hostel is a mostly run-of-the-mill Hollywood excursion into pseudo-grindhouse. It does have one brilliant cameo, just seconds before the moment of anagnorisis. The audience is already all too aware of the Slovakian "death factory" at which millionaires pay to torture and murder hapless American tourists. As our protagonist, Paxton, approaches the death factory, believing it to be an art gallery, he sees a swanky asian business man leaving.

Paxton: What's it like in there?
Takashi Miike: Be careful...(long pause)...you could end up spending all your money.

Hostel's director Eli Roth is a huge fan of Miike, the king of Japanese gore-cinema. He elaborates more today in The Guardian, on why Audition is his favourite horror flick. Jaded on the many facets of post-irony as I am, I was still amused by the conceit of Miike's filmic fantasies funding a real career, as a millionaire torturer.

Tags: miike, hostel,

Snail Porridge, with Joselito Ham and Shaved Fennel was conceived as a sort of congee. The recipe is here, and it's obvious that despite the name it is actually a quite conventional dish. The snails are just regular perfect buttery snails, served in a rich green fennel sauce. The ham just adds a little extra porkiness, something akin to scallops in pancetta.

The GF complained that the Roast Foie Gras was spoiled by its accompanying Almond Fluid Gel, Cherry and Chamomile. In this context it did seem extra fatty. The cherry sauce train tracks are a really sweet maraschino jam, and the three tiny cubes are Amaretto jelly. Served with a little square of sweet brioche it all made perfect culinary sense to me.

Actually, forget what I said before, there was another savoury ice: Sardine on Toast Sorbet served with Ballotine of Mackerel Invertebrate. I'd been dying to taste this first, before trying the recipe. The "invertebrate" ballotine is genius. An axial section of sardine has been neatly and invisibly deboned, to make a perfect sashimi slice. The sorbet is completely unnecessarily garnished with salmon roe. It tastes impossibly like still warm toast and sardines fresh off the grill.

Salmon Poached With Liquorice, served with pink grapefruit and olive oil, is another technical marvel. A square of salmon comes wrapped in an exact layer of delicate liquorice, like a mini-Baby Bel. It actually has only the faintest hint of liquorice in the aftertaste. Masterful.
I was quite giddy with excitement by this stage in the meal, and somehow forgot to photograph the Poached Breast of Pigeon and Pancetta, served with a pastilla of its own leg. I thought it was the most disappointing, very conventional dish, but then I rate Moroccan food as my least favourite world cuisine.
At this stage we we given small pamphlets, detailing the culinary life of Mrs Agnes Marshall, who invented the ice cream cone in 1888 (excerpted from this essay). This of course was followed up with a tiny gaudy cornet, that seemed to be made from crisp rolled sugar. I've forgotten, but I think the flavour was something normal like mandarin.
Next up were tiny "Fat Duck Fountains" of pine flavoured sherbet eaten with a vanilla pod. Heston decribes it as a pre-hit to Mango and Douglas Fir Puree, trying to make you forget that pine is the smell of magic trees and furniture polish, not pudding.

The first proper pudding is a giant explosion of fruit flavours, the mango and douglas fir, but also lychee bavarois, blackcurrent sorbet, and a beetroot sail. The tiny jelly cubes were something alcoholic again, possibly Cherry Heering. The world's most famous patissier Pierre Herme, was sitting just across the dining room from us, and I think he was impressed. As an aside Pierre's wife looks like a fat Nancy Dell'Olio, but then if I was married to an haute couture cake maker, I'd probably pile on the pounds too.
This was followed by Carrot and Orange Tuile, which looks like an El Bulli lollipop, and a Beetroot Jelly, which was not dissimilar to a purple Starburst.

The waiter then popped up to say "Good morning, your breakfast is served", and present us with little "cereal" boxes of parsnip crisps, with parsnip milk to pour over them. This was goofy, but still quite delicious, and put us in the mood for the real "breakfast" dish.

The best was saved for (almost) last: Smoked Bacon and Egg Ice Cream, Pain Perdu, Tea Jelly, and something that seemed to be dulce d'leche topped with black truffles. Orgy is an overused word, but this was a complete shagfest of competing intense sweet and savoury flavours. The bacon ice cream smells like a charcuterie counter, the pain perdu is perfect, and you get to smash it all together with truffles and caramel. It goes on to my list of possible last meals as a totally wonderful creation.

The absolute final flourish in a really magic meal is "Hot and Cold Tea". It's Earl Grey somehow turned into a semi liquid gel, served in an insulated glass, with half the tea being stone cold, and half hot. It feels cold to the touch, but as you sip you feel the warmth on your face, and then a rush of cold and hot tea on your tongue.
Despite a couple of slightly weak dishes, and perhaps one ice cream too many, the tasting menu is just ridiculously much the most fun I've ever had in a restaurant. It isn't the most sumptuous meal ever, but it is the best bit of culinary theatre. I think there are problems with such novel food, even for very adventurous eaters. The dishes are all quite famous, at least among foodies, so the element of surprise is missing; on the other had though there's no easy way of judging a sardine sorbet, because there aren't any other restaurants doing fish ice cream. The more conventional elements of a dish end up seeming unexciting no matter how perfectly executed, while the crazy parts are literally incomparable.
I'm going to be trying lots of these dishes at home, and I'm itching already for an opportunity to go back and explore the A La Carte. If you want to book, ring up at precisely 10am GMT, exactly two months in advance of the day you want to eat.

Tags: fatduck, moleculargastronomy,

Item of Evidence 1
"This is some Global Influencer cleanser right here yo."
"Global influencer" is Nike's term for sneaker opinion leaders, of which Jeff Staple is clearly one. Prepare yourself for the first Nike table tennis kicks, for sure.

Item of Evidence 2
Rockstar Table Tennis, which is clearly the only must-have x-box 360 title.

Tags: ping pong

// posted by Rufus @ 10:36 am 0 Comments

I've eaten Heston Blumenthal's food at The Hind's Head, and at Bray Marina when he was still chef there, but I've never been to The Fat Duck. As part of the engagement celebrations the GF treated me to a very special Sunday lunch. We both plumped (literally) for the 15 course tasting menu, which for reasons of time and space, needs a couple of posts.

The menu opens with "something to clear the palette", a Nitro-Green Tea and Lime Mousse. The waitress brought out a silver tray, silver jug, silver Isi whip, and silver ice bucket. She filled the bucket with liquid nitrogen, and then used it to "fry" a gel of green tea, lime and vodka. You are instructed to eat it in one bite with your fingers. As it goes into your mouth it vaporises, so steam comes out of your nose. I was so shocked by the explosion that I barely noticed the taste.

Oyster, Passion Fruit Jelly, Horseradish Cream and Lavender was exactly the sort of stunning melee of flavours you expect in the home of molecular gastronomy. The oyster floats in the jelly, and the oyster shell is lined with horseradish.

The little dishes continued, with Pommery Grain Mustard Ice Cream and Red Cabbage Gazpacho. The tasting menu is overloaded with ice cream, but disallowing the famous bacon and egg ice cream, this was the only savoury one. Full marks for another fabulous fusion, in a very unusual form.

Our favourite dish among the opening volley, both for technical wizardry and depth of flavour was Jelly of Quail, Langoustine Cream and Parfait of Foie Gras. It comes in very distinct layers of pea soup gel, gamey quail aspic, and unctuous langoustine and foie gras. It was vv satisfying visually to dig into, and tasted magnificent from top to bottom.
We were well into the swing of things after the four starters, and we hadn't even tackled any of the Fat Duck "classics". More to come in part 2.

Tags: fatduck, moleculargastronomy,

This is hardly The Times, "Births, Marriages, and Deaths" column, but there's no harm in being formal. I am delighted to announce my engagement to Miss Katy Khoo, who has hitherto been known here as the GF. I didn't have an engagement ring ready, but I did get down on one knee with an engagement tortoise. His name is Archie, short for Archimedes. He feels like part of the family already.

Tags: fiancee, tortoise

In response to the worst amateur parkour video ever:

WHAT THE FUCK IS THE OBSESSION WITH JUMPING OVER SHYT AND UNDER SHYT AND ON TOP OF SHYT, YOU PEOPLE OVER SEAS SUCK AT EVERY FUCKING SPORT (exept soccer maybe) PLAY SOME REAL SPORTS YOU FUCK TARDS - PROF3TA

Tags: parkour