Friday, July 22, 2005
Things have gone really seriously insane in London. Every taxi company in the city is sold out all day, because people are staying off the tube. People who are taking the tube, are risking not only suicide self-harm bombs, but being shot dead by the police. Rumour has it that there's a mosque in east London that's under siege, and Islamophobia is at an all time high.
Avoiding this heady atmosphere of crossfire and hate crimes, I thought the time had come to judge the clerihew contest. There were six valid entries:
from Charlie Beez:
Countdown's Richard Whitely
Entertained us with humour which was spritely.
He was once attacked by a ferret,
and more recently was buried.
from Nixta:
A man as old and wise as Nelson Mandela,
Such a loveable and kind fella,
Deserves not a limerick but clerihew
For all the good things he's put us through.
from Max:
the problem with old Tony Blair
is the fact that his wife's always there
with a simle to her shoulder, an intolerable grin
I can state outright that she's ugly as sin
from Turlough:
Tiger Woods
Has got the goods.
No time for flummery
Unlike Colin Montgomery.
from Tartley:
George Walker Bush - a man of his word
but words can decieve, we recently heard
caveats added, as he elegantly strove
to save the bacon of old pal Karl Rove.
from Jojo:
Doctor James Rufus Cartwright
Entertains daily with a most amusing and useful website.
A perfect destination
For procrastination.
Although all entries win a pot of honey, some contestants argued strongly that there should be a top prize. Bad rhyming did for Jojo (Cartwright and website) and Charlie (ferret and buried). Tartley slipped up by misspelling "deceive", as did Max by misspelling "smile", or possibly "simile" (unless they were both just trying some freeform neologistic jazz poetry). That left Nixta and Turlough in contention. Turlough clearly doesn't need any more honey, so he wins a top prize of a small jar of rare weasel coffee beans, shipped back by me from Vietnam. Everyone else wins honey! Hooray.
Avoiding this heady atmosphere of crossfire and hate crimes, I thought the time had come to judge the clerihew contest. There were six valid entries:
from Charlie Beez:
Countdown's Richard Whitely
Entertained us with humour which was spritely.
He was once attacked by a ferret,
and more recently was buried.
from Nixta:
A man as old and wise as Nelson Mandela,
Such a loveable and kind fella,
Deserves not a limerick but clerihew
For all the good things he's put us through.
from Max:
the problem with old Tony Blair
is the fact that his wife's always there
with a simle to her shoulder, an intolerable grin
I can state outright that she's ugly as sin
from Turlough:
Tiger Woods
Has got the goods.
No time for flummery
Unlike Colin Montgomery.
from Tartley:
George Walker Bush - a man of his word
but words can decieve, we recently heard
caveats added, as he elegantly strove
to save the bacon of old pal Karl Rove.
from Jojo:
Doctor James Rufus Cartwright
Entertains daily with a most amusing and useful website.
A perfect destination
For procrastination.
Although all entries win a pot of honey, some contestants argued strongly that there should be a top prize. Bad rhyming did for Jojo (Cartwright and website) and Charlie (ferret and buried). Tartley slipped up by misspelling "deceive", as did Max by misspelling "smile", or possibly "simile" (unless they were both just trying some freeform neologistic jazz poetry). That left Nixta and Turlough in contention. Turlough clearly doesn't need any more honey, so he wins a top prize of a small jar of rare weasel coffee beans, shipped back by me from Vietnam. Everyone else wins honey! Hooray.
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