That's How It Happened

The Hideout Website...
...is one of the worst websites ever created. I love the Hideout store; they stock great exclusive japanese labels, but their website represents everything that is wrong with the commercialisation of the internet. It recapitulates all the faults of failed greedy web enterprises like boo.com. These are my particular complaints:
1. For starters, for completely unfathomable reasons, the entire site lives behind a slow SSL "https" encryption.
2. It has a Flash splash page that can't be skipped.
3. It has uninterpretable URLs, and unhelpful "Continue" buttons, so you can't find your way about.
4. Many of the products featured, are not for sale via the website at all. Perhaps that's not such a crime, but there's no indication of which ones are for sale until you try to buy them.
5. Most importantly, (some might say pompously) of all, though are the insane Terms of Service featuring classic gems such as:

HIDEOUTSTORE.COM and the materials on our site are protected by international copyright laws. No materials or information can be copied, reproduced, modified, distributed, displayed or transmitted, for purposes other than personal use and reference, without our prior written consent.

Whoops, I just transmitted some of their information, for the purposes of ridicule, and I forgot to ask. It gets stupider:

Any links made to HIDEOUTSTORE.COM must be authorised by us. Please make your request to info@hideoutstore.com.

What if I don't care to?

We may include links to other sites from time to time. THE HIDEOUT has no control over the content of these sites and will accept no liability in this respect.

And I think they'll find that I'm not admitting any liability with respect to sites I link to either, including theirs.

Refund requests will be fulfilled with a CREDIT NOTE to your HIDEOUTSTORE.COM account. It can be used for your next order and any unused credit will remain on your account until your next purchase.

It's lucky they just breached my statutory rights, because:

This agreement is governed by the laws of England and by using HIDEOUTSTORE.COM, you agree to submit to the exclusive jurisdiction of the courts of England.

I suppose I will so long as I'm still in England. But what if I were in Scotland, Wales, Northern Island, or gee-whizz, somewhere outside the UK entirely? They go on:

In order to provide a better service, we would like you to register an account at HIDEOUTSTORE.COM. Your personal information is collected and stored, which will make your shopping experience quicker and more convenient.

Sounds unlikely to me too, but it's OK because:

We hate spam as much as you do.

But not enough apparently, because to avoid getting spam you have to send a written opt-out:

We may also contact you to provide information about THE HIDEOUT or GIMME 5 special events, programs, or store offers that may interest you. If you do not wish to receive such e-mails, please let us know by writing to info@hideoutstore.com.

To finish up, as always, the bizarre catch-all:

Any access or use of HIDEOUTSTORE.COM will signify your consent to our TERMS & POLICIES. We reserve the right to update this section at any time without notice. Please check back regularly to ensure that you are aware of any changes in our practices

I think they'll find I never check back again, and never visit their stupid store either, until they change their horrible ToS. I'm perfectly happy to buy their T-shirts and shoes off eBay and the excellent Rinkya, without being patronised, insulted, and having my rights infringed.