That's How It Happened

Your search engine called. Their idiot is missing.
After the run away success of just fucking google it, comes can't find on google. Ostensibly it's a serious site, to explore the limitations of current search tools; however to my jaded eye, it's just another opportunity for tech-savvy nerds to laugh at intarweb idiots.
Hira falls into the classic "add a .com trap"

Really looking for: i am looking for makeover online games, just like in barbie.com. there are many games there wich you can play online, making over the girls.
Queries tried: makeovergames.com
Comments: please help me to fine this type of site. thnx in advance. bye

I'm not even confident that "Asiya" can spell her name correctly, which is where her query falls down.

Really looking for: definition of commercial geography(at least three)
Queries tried: dictioneries

Michal is desperately seeking Jimmi, but fails to advance to "two search term" queries.

Really looking for: e-mail adress of jimmi page (guitarist of led zeppelin) i want to write him something... but i don't know e-mail thanks
Queries tried: mail

Ali seems unlikely to graduate med school.

Really looking for: Multiple choice Questions for Gynae.
Queries tried: What is Gynae? 1. something 2. something 3. something

Amanda has long term google issues.

Really looking for: What does "mina gebedjosee" mean? I have no idea what language that is. Years ago a friend wrote that in the front of a book she gave to me and I forgot what she said it meant, if I ever knew.
Queries tried: Typing in "mina gebedjosee" Trying typing the words into a translation site with Dutch, Chinese, French, German, Italian, Japanese, Korean, Portuguese, Rusian, Spanish, Greek. Typing "gebed" and "josee" and "mina" separately to see if I could find any leads.
Comments: I have been asking people about this for years and typing it into Google for several years (when I think about it) with no matches. Gebeden" means "prayed" in Dutch

Aniline needs the kind of help google just can't provide:

Really looking for: The Smurf equivalent of that website that gives recipes for cooking space aliens.
Queries tried: "smurf fritters"

Harvey introduces unfathomable depths of recursiveness with his query.

Really looking for: I would like to find any literature in which the "village idiot" is a character; also the mythic origin of that character.
Queries tried: AOL & MS

The desperately sad part of "can't find on google" is not just the hopeless submissions, but the entire rationale in setting up the site. Google answers, already does a fantastic job of answering difficult queries, and teaches you to be a better googler in the process. Unless of course it is just a hilarious web "Diner de cons".

Two "professional" blogs with good titles: from a law student "three years of hell, to become the devil", and from an honest doctor, "kill as few patients as possible".

Saltwater Pizza Blog is good enough to go into my ailing sidebar, and links to this Map of Muffler Men, similiar to the giant Paul Bunyan from the movie Fargo.

Lingerie links two days in a row? Agent Provocateur get political with BDSM in the Oval Office (NSFW at all), featuring a cameo with Blair as a Pulp Fiction gimp.

The Invisible Library is a devoted catalogue of books that only occur as books in other works of fiction.

I've set aside two weeks in November for a trip to Tokyo. Trying to plan things to do, other than freak out in the sneaker shops of Harajuku, I found Tokyo Damage Report. It's the blog of "an american jerk" in Tokyo, who has an incredible knack for finding the sleaziest most "challenging" Japanese entertainments.