That's How It Happened

Young Nixta promised never to return to English shores until I published his not so recent letter. However it appears that he is due at Heathrow in a matter of hours. Not wanting a gentleman to break his word I now present: A Letter From Nixta

My dear fellow,
Not only will I endeavour to keep the spelling metsops and grammtical titsuppery to a minimum, but also I will attempt to explain to you and your readers the feeling of unrestrained contempt I feel for your fine bloglication.
It is a wet and blustery Christmas Eve, and if you take a peek at Nixta.com you will see that for very nearly two whole months, nothing has been written (and that last post was itself a desperate attempt to treat the constipation that supplanted the diarrhoea my readership had suffered earlier in the year).
I blame this constipation on your good self and your blog pages which are written as seemingly effortlessly as Mozart would knock out a pre-dinner tune or as a child would eat its own fresh nasal discharge.  With your magnum opus, I fear there is no room for nixta.com.
You must excuse me now as my air-conditioner cover has been blown away once more and I must hunt it down before the squirrels make a home of it for Winter,
Nobby Cathcart.

As you can see Nick has a fine line in neologia, spoonerisms and obscene metaphors. I commend this letter, as the finest ever sent to my "bloglication". As for the photo above, I should explain. Young Nixta had gained notoriety as the scurge of Manhattenite Culex Pipiens, (Based on sitings of dead pigeons, he was co-ordinating pizza boys to blitz drains with mosquito larvae poison, in order to eliminate West Nile Virus, I shit you not.) Following a slight failure to control WNV, Nick progressed to trying to put Ankor Wat back together. Even from the above photo showing the GF in one of the many temples of Ankor, it should be clear that Nick had bitten off more than he could chew. I'd wager that even roboto-Stephen Hawking armed with the processing power of SETI@Home couldn't reconstruct that broken-ass pile of rubble. Heaven knows what project Nick is tackling in Blighty, but I'm hoping it mostly involves plenty of beer and x-box.